Now here are some sports geniuses
Basketball player Chris Washburn, commenting on his ability to drive to the basket: "Yeah, I can go to my right and my left. That's because I'm amphibious.'
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." - University of Pittsburgh player.
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996.
"You guys line up alphabetically by height," and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." - former Florida State football coach Bill Peterson.
Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements: "I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain in stuff I haven't been through in school."
Boxing promoter Lou Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his trip to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
Shaquille O'Neal on his lack of championships: "I've won on every level, except college and pro."
Lou Duva, boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
Orlando Magic general manager Pat Williams, when his team had a 7-27 record in 1992: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I can't figure out where else to play."
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or aunt."
Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy? He said, Coach, I don't know and I don't care."
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, it looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
