A Disclaimer or two or three

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Edited for television. Post Office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages suffered from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Bridge pavement freezes first. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Falling rocks. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Waitress will seat you. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Look for the Union label. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Child care available during services. Confidential testing and treatment of sexually transmitted diseases. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. 24-hour emergency service. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Exact change only. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Do not leave your seat until the aircraft has come to a full stop at the gate. In the event of a water landing: SWIM. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. We reserve the right to limit quantities. No dealers. Post no bills. Curb your dog. Federal law prohibits dispensing without prescription. Slippery when wet. Thin ice. Hardhat and safety shoes required in this area. Each person needs a ticket. No bicycles. Use handrails. No skateboarding. Hold small children by the hand. You must be at least this tall to ride this ride. Receipts issued only upon request. May cause injury or death to infants. Please use seatbelts. Not suitable for children. May be offensive to some persons. Strong language. Violence. Nudity. Sexual content. No smoking. This product has caused cancer in laboratory rats. Enter at your own risk. Required by law. Refrigerate after opening. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. No shoes, no service. Stop. No standing. This side up. This supersedes all previous notices. This disclaimer may not be copied or reproduced without the express consent of whoever I stole it from.

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